when i was 18, i thought i had life all figured out. knew who i wanted to be with, what i wanted to do and knew where i wanted my picket fence built. then i turned 21. looked back at my 18 year old self and laughed. there was no way i knew anything back then! so i fell in love, turned 22 and got married, divorced and moved to 2 different states all within less than 2 years then moved another 8 or 9 times. then i turned 26. looked back at my life and thought "there's no way i knew what i was doing back then!"
nearly everyone i talk to always says "i look at my life every 4 or 5 years and think 'back then i had no clue as to what i wanted or what i thought life was all about.' "
so i've come to the conclusion that no one ever has it all figured out. it's like the blind leading the blind. we're all just kinda searching our way through the dark in hopes of finding meaning, truth, knowledge, enlightenment, happiness, peace, success.
in 4 or 5 years, i'm sure i'll look back and laugh at myself for thinking i had it all figured out. or i'll laugh nostalgically at the things i worried about, knowing then that it was nothing i couldn't get through. any time i stress or worry about things, they always turn out better than i thought. so i should take a breath and stop worrying. stop standing in front of trains like i can stop them. maybe things will be better in 4 or 5 years....
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