boys like you are a dime a dozen

WARNING: i'm PMSing really bad right now and just need to bitch.

frustrating. one sided. brick wall. head banging. uncertainty. i'm patient. but not for much longer. i swear if i hadn't asked you out first there would never have been a date. "i can't make it tonight" i've heard it so many times it blurs into nothing. are you just not interested but too nice to say so? are you intimidated? i know i have cards stacked against me. why? cuz i'm a blonde attractive hairstylist with tattoos from CA? oooh i'm terrifying! i'm not like other girls. trust me *wink* you tell me not to read into you not having time for me. you're busy. i get it. between the work and the kids and the psycho ex and the jeep and the crazy roommate and the dog. sometimes there aren't enough hours in a day. same here. i make time. a girl can only ask a guy out so many times before she moves on. fuck i'm stubborn. i hate it. the flirting is there. the attraction is there. the sexual tension is there. the words and smiles are there. you're not. talk is cheap. actions lie louder than words

tough love pasta

so i'm still adjusting to this single life stuff. i think i'm enjoying it more than i thought i would. it's been 2 months as of TODAY. this is the longest i've been single (read: without a serious boyfriend) in 9 YEARS! yes that's right... 9 years. i've talked to my clients about things that are going on in my single life and they almost always say that their single years were the best times of their lives. so apparently i'm in the best years of my life RIGHT NOW. i've been going on dates, having some gut busting amazing wouldn't-trade-'em-for-anything girls' nights, tough love pasta night (i'm due, p.s.), read my book in peace, not done laundry for 2 weeks kind of a time. although i only have my cats' company most of the time (my cat is sleeping on my arm as i type this <3)> really getting used to this. i can come home whenever i want. i can sleep in whenever i want (on my days off). pretty much as long as my fur babies have food, water, and a clean litter box, i'm left to my own devices. i read a blog earlier today written by one of my myspace blogger friends. it really opened my eyes to the dating "scene." people always say "just when you stop looking is when you find someone." if you stop looking, at the end of the day, you're really still looking. so now i take every opportunity to go out. Mr. Wonderful (not that i'm itching to get married next week by ANY means) ain't just gonna knock on my door. so i go out with the girls and just always keep my eye open for someone to catch it. and let's be honest here ladies, women run the court. we decide if you get our number. we decide if we like you or not. we decide if you're lucky enough to take us out let alone be seen in public with us (men... if you wear black socks and flip flops or haulk loogies in our bathrooms, a 2nd date is highly unlikely). we decide if you will be getting any hot make out/lovin sessions. so for me, being single and reading the books that i have read ("act like a lady, think like a man" by steve harvey & "in the meantime" by iyanla vanzant for example) have made me a bit on the picky side. which i've needed for a while now. but my stubborn taurus ass needs to experience things to learn them. i've experienced great guys, assholes, guys that have a few years of growing up to do, guys that are so gorgeous (they don't need me to tell them. they already know) that i had to walk away before i got hurt, and guys that just didn't know what they were doing or where they were going. so, in the meantime, i'm going to live my life. if i don't like what a guy has to sell, i'm not going to do the obligatory buy. like my grandmother used to say, "men are like buses. there will be another one along in 10 minutes."