overly emotional and ignored?

it's 10:20pm on a saturday night. i just got a fabulous haircut today, wore a super cute sailor pinup outfit and my red lipstick. yet here i am, at home. just me, my cats and my vodka. i have no idea what the fuck my problem is. i'm not happy but i'm not miserable. i'm just... there. talked to the bf a little after 5pm for a couple minutes. said he was working on the dodge. told him i was going shopping. he said awesome have fun call me when you get home i love you bye. called him when i got home only to have my call "ignored. i'm not retarded. i know the difference between ringing out my ringing and having my call disregarded. sent a text. hey i'm home call me whenever. love you. nothing. tried calling again only to be greeted by the voicemail. fantastic. what? did you fall asleep at 7pm? i didn't think so.

i'm moving home in 2 months and 8 days. pretty much to be with you. for you to not answer my call or even have the fucking decency to reply to my texts is unacceptable and hurtful. can't tall ya how unimportant i feel. for a while i was hesitant on moving back because if it doesn't work out with us, i worry i won't be able to afford living in CA on my own. but fuck it. i've been doing it on my own for 2 years now. may take a little longer to get into my own place, but it's been done before. i don't need help now and i won't need it then. hate to sound all "feminist" cuz i'm totally not but i don't need a man to survive. i know this is shit i should be saying to your face instead of my computer, but i fear my razor tongue won't be as nice.

i'm gonna need a reeeeally good excuse as to why i shouldn't feel this way.