"the time has come to reach a new realization 'tween me & you"

i came to realize something last night. i have been wasting my time for the last 8 months. i have been after knoxville since middle of march. we have gone on 3 whiskey dates and kissed once. the last "date" was mid-june! he has a lot of drama in his life with the ex-wife, kids etc etc. he has always asked me to be patient with him, which i've done an amazing job at. the last month or so, i have felt like i'm the one doing all the work. i'm the one suggesting we hang out and all. he agrees then cancels last minute. a girl can only do so much chasing before it turns into work and the fun is removed from the equation.

i listen to music when i sleep. i must've had an epiphany in my sleep cuz i woke up this morning and thought "i'm done. i'm over this. i'm sick of chasing a guy that doesn't give a shit." i'm missing out on a potentially great thing with someone else because i'm waiting for something that will never happen.

my problem with knox has always been this: when we don't work together (sun-wed) it's easy for me to say "fuck him. he is stupid for passing up a good thing when it's right in front of him. jackass!" (i have the "i hate you" letter i wrote him to prove it) then thursday rolls around and that all goes out the window when he pulls up to the shop. so i need to stick to my guns this time and not let him get to me anymore. sure, we'll still flirt and all, but now it won't hurt. wish me luck...

"When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us."